Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
