ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
