He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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