Screwed.edu
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
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