I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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