How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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