Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
