I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
