weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
