Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Please, let me fuck your mom
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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