she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
