Christians are straight up FREAKS
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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