Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
