Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
