Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
