party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
