from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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