Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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