So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
