I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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