it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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