conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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