Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is wine microwaveable?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
