you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
