he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
