Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
