Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
