i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
