We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
