Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
