is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
