think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
