And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
