hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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