i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
