I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
