he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
