Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Where is the hickey?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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