Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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