This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
