It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
