Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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