I think I won the penis lottery.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
