I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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