Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
