perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
