She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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