you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
