Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
