He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She even gives head with a lisp.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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