I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
