Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
