I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
