Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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