did you get engaged???
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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