I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize